Wednesday, May 12, 2010

That's Insane

I know I've blogged about the Insanity Workout from Beach Body in the past. To say I love it is an understatement. I completed it last Halloween, and was thrilled with my results. However, holiday season soon intruded, with Thanksgiving, Christmas, my birthday, and getting engaged. Most of these events (and by most, I mean all) revolve around eating! So, I lost a lot of my hard-earned progress. So, to get ready for swim season, I decided to give it another go-around. And to further incriminate myself, I'm going to post for the world to see (or in reality, my minute set of blog readers, holla Stacie!) my start stats and goals. Here we go...

Start: 5/10/10

Weight: 123
Bust: 32

Waist: 24.25
Hips: 37
Thighs: 21
Arms: 10.5
Belly: 30

Goal: 7/5/10
Weight: 120

Bust: 32
Waist: 23
Hips: 36
Thighs: 19
Arms: 9.5
Belly: 27

I'm not sure how realistic these goals are, but considering how many inches I lost the first round I'd say that they seem pretty achievable. And I want to emphasize that I'm not trying to become a skeleton, but I'd love to have just one point in my life where I'm super muscular and fit. I'd like to have a six-pack, even for just six seconds. I plan on kicking my baby-maker into gear pretty soon after the wedding, and I'd like to be able to look back on this part of my life and see just how fit I was.

See, I've had some issues with my body for a while now, ever since I started the abusive relationship in college. Weight was the easiest item to control, and the most criticized. I've self-diagnosed myself with Body Dysmorphic Disorder since I honestly have no clear perspective on what my body looks like. If you've seen the photoshoot with Bestie C, you could tell she's no pixie. At 5'10" and super-human curves, I remember telling the Boy and my roommate that she looked a lot like me. Yeah, I'm 5'4" and totally waifish. For fun she tried on my bra and couldn't even get one in both cups. And I'm still totally convinced we have similar body types. Yet at one point, at my lowest, I was 105 lbs. At 5'4", that's borderline anorexic, in my opinion. Don't believe me? Here I am at 112, a good 7 lbs heavier.

I don't know how you even cram organs in there. I was so obviously unhealthy, yet was told I was fat multiple times per day. Any loose skin was pinched, any jiggle criticized. I had to sneak change to get snacks from the vending machine at work. So yeah, I have a hard time maintaining an accurate body image. It's a work in progress, but slowly I'm getting there. And I'm happy to be doing things in a healthier, safer way this time. Thanks Shaun T for the confidence! And now I'm out to do Cardio Recovery, cause I need it!

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